If you die in college, do you die in real life?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
