You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
