I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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