If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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