Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
