these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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