Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
