you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
