Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Randomize
