with your own penis?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
