Already got asked if we're dating
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
you made out with another girl for some wings
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
