Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
