im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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