i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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