I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
