Pappa wants mamma naked
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
