i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
one might say we're banned from that church
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
