Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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