yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
