I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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