I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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