Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
