But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
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