She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
