Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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