Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
