I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Randomize
