i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
