All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
