His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
