Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
