thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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