I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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