So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
