Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
