you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
