I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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