You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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