But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
