their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
