She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
