I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
