Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
