Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
