don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
