It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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