But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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