Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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