Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
