You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
